A Tale of Boredom (pt 2)
| From: | ----(--------------@hotmail.com) |
| Sent: | July 2, 2009 4:08:45 PM |
| To: | The Real Deal |
Quietly eating my lunch at a vacant table, away from some of the horrible scum I work with, I mind my own business. Like a rabid hyena, I eat left over pork chops from last night's BBQ. No time for utensils since my break has been delayed for over an hour due to the legendary futility of my "peers". Finally, I am able to feast in peace, no disruptions, no bothers, simply a man and three perfectly cooked pork chops with a side of salad and this delicious little cupcake I stole from my girlfriend.
Suddenly I hear it...approaching, methodically moving its legs in some awkward attempt at walking. I know what comes...Doom and it takes the form of the oversized manager -------. Dear God, I wonder aloud. What has this awful whore-beast come to ask me now? I am alone therefore there is no escape from her poorly concocted attempts at conversation. I can't deflect her purely idiotic comments onto some unsuspecting co-worker and flee like a child with freshly soiled shorts.
A few moments pass, no more thundering footsteps...has the storm passed? NO! She yells out "ALLO ----!! COMMENT CA VA EIN?" (translation-Hello ----! How’s it going?) Jesus Mary and Joseph!! This monster has come to eat beside me! There are seven other seats in this cramped cafeteria and this hideous elephant has plopped herself next to me. No no no no, this won't do. I excused myself and finished eating in the corridor openly weeping...it was the right thing to do.
I treat this cow with the utmost disrespect and the pig still can't take a fucking hint! Do I spell it out for her? Do I commit suicide? Murder? I wish I made this stuff up, it's too good to be true...fucking hell pig.