A Tale of Boredom- Horror Revisited
| From: | ---- (--------------@hotmail.com) |
| Sent: | July 3, 2009 12:46:17 PM |
| To: | The Real Deal |
I'm glad this makes you laugh because it drives me to certain insanity. I'll take a picture for you one day...you'll never sleep again
Ahhh it's Friday. Prospects of weekend silliness are on the horizon. Customers are oddly pleasant today, frolicking around the store singing "tralalalala". Fridays are half days...glorious days where nothing ever really gets done because, well, it's the weekend and who gives a shit. Time is flying, horrifying clouds are gathering outside but even a temper mental Mother Nature cannot ruin this day.
Then without warning, tragedy strikes! Almost as if Satan himself rose out of the depths of hell and pointed at me mockingly, cackling like a delusional psychotic at the horrors that were about to unfold, my nemesis -------, the bulging eyesore, charged through the front doors! I was immediately gripped with terror, not due to her terrifying appearance, but terrified of the undeniable stupidity that was about to pour onto me like a tropical thunder storm.
She stumbled over to me with the grace of a Rhino, her mouth cracked with what I can only assume was a friendly smile. That face is burned in my nightmares for years to come, it will haunt me in the darkest places I could ever hope to hide.
She continued her awkward path towards me and blurted out a shrieking ALLO! I felt my very soul shudder. She began a babbling mess of a conversation that I could only understand bits and pieces of. At this moment I am still not sure what she said but I did catch her say I had to have a meeting with her at some point today. Jesus God! Weekends are ruined after horror shows like this. I calmly smiled, held back the natural urge to throw up, bravely met her squinty eyes, hidden behind designer knock off glasses and hoarsely whispered "alright". Then, as if the Gods themselves had given me direction, I said "only after 2:30 though, I have loads of work to do". She seemed satisfied, cocked her head back like some kind of prehistoric beast and bellowed "HAW". She then made her way to the back.
The happy ending is that this swine of a woman thinks I work until five when I finish at two.